Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Song of the Day - Hush, Hush, Hush

Hush Hush Hush was a song written in 1995 by Paula Cole.  It was on her "This Fire,"  album.  It was always hauntingly beautiful.  It always reminded me of winter and as I took it and made it a personal soundtrack with a different it wasn't until looking beyond myself that I was able to listen exactly to what she was saying.  

At first I thought it was about gay man who comes out "late in life,"  realizing he has missed so many chances to be himself.  It wasn't till later that I realized rather than being a deeper meaning all the time, it was right in front of my eyes; it's about a young man dying of aids.  

I've heard a couple of stories like this, especially from some of my older friends who lived through during the 1980's, finding a new and fearless sexual liberation then succumbing to a then new and relatively unknown epidemic.  In between the sexually promiscuous, were many who just wanted to finally feel what they have never felt, what was to them the right kind of love; only to all in one shot be diagnosed and die within weeks.  That was the reality.  Just talk to someone who lived through it, someone whose family would keep their distance because of the ignorance.  

I remember watching news reports when I was younger, I attribute that to my father, an emigrant who left his country at 16, had three kids before he was my current age and with a high school education level.  I would watch the news with him and without him.  Without him I would see news reports on AIDS.  Come to think of it, if you were born by 1980 your life was affected by aids because it was everywhere; it's like a pestering cousin, sibling, icon, trend, system of government, etc...

It's something to think about, especially in an affluent developed western country, where the virus that causes AIDS is now more a luxury than the epidemic that it is in Africa and most underdeveloped countries.  Why?   What would gay people from the 1980's say to the gay people of today?  Would we all get along?  Hush, Hush, Hush.

Long white arms
Losing their strength and form
Sixty year man on twenty year old skin
Skeleton, your eyes have lost their warmth
Look to your father for some support


Hush hush hush

Says your daddy's touch
Sleep sleep sleep
Says the hundredth sheep
Peace peace peace
May you go in peace

Cruel joke you waited so long to show
The one that you wanted wasn't a girl
All your life you kept it hidden inside
Now when you step
You stumble
You die


Oh maybe next time
You'll be Henry the 8th
Wake up tomorrow, alexander the great
Open your eyes in a new life again
Oh maybe next time
You'll be given a chance

Hush hush hush

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Song of the Day - Try Again

Memories!  Awe Aaliyah.  Imagine what she would have done.  It will be 10 years on the 25th. since she passed away.

this song has been in my head all morning.  This and "Walking on Broken Glass," by Annie Lennox.  I chose to share this one; this one is happier and more motivating.


Monday, August 8, 2011

Training, working, editing DMW and the practice of Tonglen

Yikes!  I've neglected my blog while I've been focusing on what was a rough week.  I am officially running the NYC marathon in November after 5 years of waiting :)

I'm thinking of dedicating each training day run to a runner who is no longer with us, or runners who cannot run....

I'm overworked and need a vacation but in due time....

The only thing that has been coming to mind recently is the Tibetan word "tonglen."  It is a word taught to me by Joan Halifax in 2006 which means giving or taking.  It's a breathing practice where you visualize yourself taking in the suffering of others when you inhale and on showering happiness and success on the exhale.    It's kinda like "out with the old in with the new,"  except it's more "in with the bad, out with the good."